GAITHERSBURG, MD — Montgomery County officials have named a local man MoCo Driver of the Week after he successfully traveled 3.7 miles on I-270, in a lane that was clearly marked to end.
Witnesses say the driver, identified only as Dave, had nearly a mile to merge but chose to remain in his lane until the very last possible second.
“Everyone around him was merging,” said one witness. “The signs said lane closed. The cones said lane closed. The lane itself was disappearing, but he just kept driving. He finally merged, but he was going maybe 40 MPH and did so without any signal or concern for the other drivers around him.”
Merging Remains Optional
Officials confirmed that merging onto I-270 remains optional in Montgomery County, particularly when waiting until the last 50 to 100 feet creates a significantly larger traffic problem.
Other witnesses noted that Dave eventually activated his turn signal, but only after he crossed two lanes of traffic, and forced his way into the fast lane, approximately 20 feet before the pavement ended.
His commute also included several other classic MoCo techniques: braking suddenly for absolutely no reason, leaving a 200-foot gap between himself and the car ahead, a collection of illegal U-turns, and the now common odor of marijuana emanating from his vehicle.
County officials praised Dave’s consistency. “He really represents what we’re looking for in a MoCo Driver of the Week,” said one official. “Oblivious, unpredictable, and completely unwilling to let traffic flow smoothly.”
Dave could not be reached for comment. He was reportedly sitting at a green light planning his next move.
MoCo Shit Show – Watch where you step